Under-Achiever

TWEEEEEEEET!!!

2008-09-26T21:53:16Z

Now tweeting on Twitter as 'agitado' -- please let me know if you're there!

Three for free!

2008-09-10T20:59:28Z

Hello LJ Folk,

This is a bit off the beaten path, but I thought there would be some interest here. My company, Togg!e, does product photography, and many of our customers are artisans or crafters who need promotional photos. We just launched an on-line ordering system and are doing a promotion where we'll photograph three of your products for free if you join our email newsletter. It's a great way to get some professional photos if you want to show off your work.

Just go to http://www.togglephotos.com and click on the Free Trial button at the top. That's it!

BTW: if you sign up be sure to let me know you are a LJ'er.

Thanks,
Andrew

Alright, I'm game

2008-07-07T04:45:37Z

With a tip o' the nib to Bear_left. Here's my take on the top 100 films of the past 25 years. I don't own a damn thing, so I just put a plus for those that should be higher, a minus for those that should be lower, and equal for those in the right spot, and an X for those that shouldn't even be on the list. If there's no rating I haven't seen it so I don't have a clue.

***************************************

1. Pulp Fiction (-)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (=)
3. Titanic (-)
4. Blue Velvet (-)
5. Toy Story (-)
6. Saving Private Ryan (-)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) (on VHS)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (+)
9. Die Hard (-)
10. Moulin Rouge (-)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (-)
12. The Matrix (-)
13. GoodFellas (-)
14. Crumb (=)
15. Edward Scissorhands (=)

16. Boogie Nights (=)
17. Jerry Maguire (-)
18. Do the Right Thing (+)
19. Casino Royale (+)
20. The Lion King (-)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (=)
23. Memento (+) Note: this should be top 5.
24. A Room With a View (=)
25.Shrek (X)
26. Hoop Dreams (+)
25. Aliens (+)
28. Wings of Desire (=)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (=) Note: should have just done the trilogy and made it top 10
30. When Harry Met Sally... (-)
31. Brokeback Mountain (=)
32. Fight Club (=)
33. The Breakfast Club (=)
34. Fargo (+)
35. The Incredibles (-)
36. Spider-Man 2 (X)
37. Pretty Woman (X)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (+)
39. The Sixth Sense (+)
40. Speed (X)
41. Dazed and Confused (=)
42. Clueless (-)
43. Gladiator (+)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (=)
46. Children of Men (+) Possible a top 5
47. Men in Black (X)
48. Scarface (-)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (+) Top 10
50. The Piano (+) Top 10 probably
51. There Will Be Blood (+)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (-)
53. The Truman Show (-)
54. Fatal Attraction (-)
55. Risky Business (-)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (X)
58. Ghostbusters (=)
59. L.A. Confidential (+) Probably a top 5
60. Scream (=)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (X)
62. sex, lies and videotape (+)
63. Big (=)
64. No Country For Old Men (+) Also a top 5
65. Dirty Dancing (-)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (=)
69. All About My Mother (+) - Top 10, easy
70. Broadcast News (+) Also a Top 10
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (+)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (+)
75. Out of Africa (+)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (=)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (+)
81. Moonstruck (+)
82. Lost in Translation (+)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (=)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (+)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (+)
87. Swingers (X)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (X)
89. Breaking the Waves (=)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (+)
91. Back to the Future (X)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (-)
94. Full Metal Jacket (+)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (+)
97. Glory (X)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (+) Also a top 10
99. The Blair Witch Project (+)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (+)

**************************************

Jesus, there are only 12 I haven't seen. I'm not sure why, but I feel a small sense of accomplishment. Now, let's list 20 that aren't there, but should be -- in no particular order. (Can you tell I have insomnia?)

1) Aliens (the second one)
2) Pan's Labyrinth
3) The English Patient
4) The Remains of the Day
5) Finding Nemo
6) The Thomas Crown Affair (the remake)
7) Angels in America (even though there was no theatrical release)
8) The Hours
9) Finding Nemo
10) Legal Eagles
11) The Natural
12) Batman Begins
13) Lost Highway
14) The Devil Wears Prada
15) The Game
16) 9 to 5
17) Heat
18) Last of the Mohicans
19) Sunshine
20) You Can Count on Me

Now, for final shits and giggles, let's try 5 that aren't on the list and I'm so fucking glad because they are overrated and/or obnoxious but tend to wind up on these lists:

1) Dances with Wolves
2) Bull Durham (sorry Ian)
3) Anything with Adam Sandler
4) Anything with Will Ferrell
5) Jurassic Park

Okay, let's try that bed again. Night.

I'm back!

2008-06-25T01:12:53Z

So, I just returned from an extended vacation with my family in Colorado. It was friggin' beautiful as always. Why don't I live there? Soon enough, soon enough. The highlight was seeing a litter of baby foxes playing on my parents' back porch. Adorable, rambunctious and thrilling. We also went to a wolf rescue sanctuary, which was very cool. With this is a pic taken from the back porch of our cabin. Ah, beautiful.

Etiquette Tip

2008-06-09T03:08:21Z

A gentleman never spits.

agitadoma @ 2008-05-20T08:16:00

2008-05-20T12:37:26Z

Alright, I usually don't use this journal like a diary; to report on the daily goings-on of my life. But yesterday was unique and I'm compelled to write about it.

I own a business and have several wonderful employees. My feelings towards them are a source of continual fascination. It's unlike any relationship I've had before. When I supervised employees of a business I did not own there was a certain kinship to our plight (at the mercy of owners). But this relationship is different. The kinship is diminished, and replaced by strange feelings of responsibility, protectiveness and authority. I am still learning how to negotiate this new circumstance.

Yesterday I walked in to find one of my employees crying. She's the 36-year-old mother of three children; ages 1, 3 and 5. The night before her husband said that he's leaving them. By her account this happened very suddenly. He began acting strangely about a month ago, and then turned belligerent this past weekend. By Monday morning this normally reasonable man was calling her a "fucking bitch" and cutting off her cell and email accounts.

She thinks he's with another woman, which is certainly plausible. One thing is clear: He's very angry, is having a crisis and lacks the maturity to handle it in a way that is considerate of her. She is, of course, a wreck. She's thinking about custody, divorce, savings, assets, etc. -- all the things that are part of a separation that you never expected to deal with yourself. I think I gave her good advice, but she was so in shock that I suspect it will be a day or two before she can make any decisions. Her mind was just racing yesterday.

The whole thing weighs on me much more heavily than I would have suspected. Her world exploded and the pieces are so small you can't imagine gluing them back together. I think we will be sweeping them up.

Ah, Second Marriage

2008-05-16T12:01:42Z

This is the second of two old editorials I'm posting. See the first (below) for a better explanation. This was published on June 10, 2004, about a month after same-sex marriage was legalized in Massachusetts. I also read it at the 10th anniversary celebration my partner and I held in Colorado.

***********************************

Out Beyond Words
by Andrew Rapp

I am married. Beyond that there are few words to express what has happened.

I know this because I work in the business of words and recently business hasn't been good. In our stories since May 17 we've often been confronted with situations where the common language is simply inadequate.

Is a woman who marries another woman her wife? Not according to the American Heritage Dictionary, which defines "wife" as "a woman joined to a man in marriage; a female spouse." Are two men being married grooms? The same dictionary defines "groom" as "a bridegroom," which implies the presence of a bride. Not a promising start.

I've found myself turning to the dictionary repeatedly to find definitions to words I thought I knew - fiancée, bachelor, husband, divorcee. In most cases the result has been disappointing. Our language for coupling, like the institutions it once described, is deeply heterosexist. The prejudice which impeded us from marrying is falling away and pulling the legal instruments of discrimination down with it, but now we face an institution whose very language never anticipated our lives.

For so long our relationships were unspoken and unseen. But after a decades-long crescendo the "love that dare not speak it's name" can, at least in our unusual little state, be heard quite clearly. It's spoken before altars and under chuppas. It's spoken to our neighbors, family and co-workers. It's spoken on television, radio and in newspapers. And most importantly, when it is spoken our state no longer turns a deaf ear.

When telling of my own impending marriage, I was unprepared for the response. It seemed everyone, even near strangers, waved traditions at us. They inquired, almost demandingly, about our accordance with custom. Where will you honeymoon? When did he propose? Who's in the wedding party?

The answers "nowhere, never, and nobody" seemed only to disappoint and so we eloped, marrying quietly on a beach with only our officiant present. It was the right choice for us. Eloping has long been the choice of star-crossed lovers, outsiders at odds with the demands of society. And isn't that nearly what we still are? After only four weeks of legalized marriage, can the corners really have been fully whittled off us square pegs?

Not yet, but it will happen quickly. So now is a critical time of defining what marriage will mean for us. Same-sex marriage began making its own traditions on May 17 and each week they will grow more entangling, less pliant. Still free of the burdens of tradition, we are drafting history, literally, at the speed of our lives.

Pride has always been a day uniquely ours, when we grant ourselves an exemption from bothering with those who might think us too loud, too flamboyant. It's a recess from the expectations of others, a day when simply being who your are is a good enough reason to celebrate. It is a festival of self-expression, where we define ourselves for each other and the world. This year we ought to take advantage of that freedom and apply it to the task ahead.

While we're out bedecked in beads and boas, astride motorbikes or atop floats, let's tap into some of that loopy creativity. We've a new language to create for ourselves. The love that dare not speak its name has been given a new chance to say something. Let's make it something truly wonderful. Don't worry, I'm sure the words will come.

Ah, marriage

2008-05-16T11:54:55Z

In response to the events in CA, and the journal of my friend zombietruckstop, I decided to resurrect two very old editorials I wrote. For those who don't know, I was editor-in-chief of Bay Windows, Boston's gay paper, when marriage was legalized here in Massachusetts. I am forever grateful that I was able to have a front-row seat for those events, and glad that I published some of my thoughts. This first essay was published on May 20, 2004, three days after the first marriages began.

*************************************************

Something Old, Something New
by Andrew Rapp

As I stood near the top step of Cambridge City Hall with the clock ticking down to May 17 and the beginning of same-sex marriages, two women behind me struck up a passionate debate about why the crowd was singing our national anthem. Did it signify the end of gay culture's dissident world view? Or was the crowd re-appropriating the song, and its spirit of patriotism?

Neither was wholly true. Our welcome into this most crucial form of equality is fragile - our state may yet close the doors to marriage - and it is slight - no other state has yet opened its doors, and our federal government may pull up the drawbridge altogether. As long as this is so, surely as long as any of our lifetimes, we will maintain our spark of dissidence.

Still, a distance that separated us from so much of society has been shortened, and the crowd in Cambridge sang our country's signature hymn like a welcoming gesture. We are being invited into an aspect of society once closed to us, but we are also welcoming society to be further enriched by our diversity. Extending an olive branch in song was a fitting salute.

Later in the evening, several couples near me faced a moment of indecision. They'd not planned to apply for licenses that evening because they didn't have blood test results in hand. But the news came that they could bring the results later, when they picked up their license. They searched their pockets for the $15 each couple would need. Cash in hand, they debated. Should they do it now, or come back the next day when the line would be shorter?

The conversation first struck me as unseemly. Wasn't this just what our critics relish, our marital decisions appearing hasty, cavalier and insubstantial? But as the deliberation continued, I realized I was witnessing something as old as marriage itself - a touch of cold feet.

The true wonder is that they could come back the next day. May 17 was special, but thankfully, it's no longer unique. If a same-sex couple wasn't ready on May 17, they could come back another day and apply for their license. This is the essence of what we have won - the freedom to choose - and cold feet are the surest sign that you have a choice. It is now our responsibility to ensure GLBT people here and elsewhere can experience cold feet for all our days.

On May 18, my partner and I visited our city hall. We filled out our marriage license application, handed over our blood test results and our $20. I was nervous, worried that the clerk would be surly or disapproving. But further down the counter a young man and woman were picking up their license and they looked nervous too.

Television cameras swarmed our state last week because most of the world considers the sight of same-sex couples marrying to be a new thing. But May 17 was actually the end of old things. It marked the end of old biases. It was the end of an outdated form of discrimination in our state's marriage laws. And it was the end of our being an exception to the promise that all citizens are equal in Massachusetts.

What was new this past week wasn't visible to the cameras. It was the start of a new discussion about the role we want in our society. It was the new sensation of getting cold feet. And it was the new experience of standing alongside a straight couple, both of us getting marriage licenses, and deciding it was OK to be nervous, just like them.

The Final Chapter

2008-05-14T12:12:11Z

After a pause, I present the final installment of the 30 greatest books of all time. Again, thanks go to Kev_bot for inspiring this list with his own. I really enjoyed remembering each of these books and hope I encourage a few to read them as well. Here's the final ten:

*********************************************

30. Fun Home - Alison Bechdel. A recent read, this is probably my best book of the past two years, and I suspect it will move up my list to the top ten before long. Bechdel's graphic novel tells the story of her father, a closeted man who died (probably a suicide) before finding himself. I suspect it will revolutionize biography -- it's that good.

29. Death Be Not Proud - John Gunther. I read this as a young person and it was the first time I really thought about mortality. This memoir of a father losing his son to cancer gets dismissed as sappy sometimes, but it's heart wrenching and moving.

28. Contact - Carl Sagan. Not sure why the bottom of this list is sci-fi heavy, but this book definitely deserves a spot. Sagan proposes a form of divine order even atheists can contemplate -- a universe ordered at a level so deeply, by forces so mysterious, that science alone can explore its nature.

27. The Mars Triology - Kim Stanley Robinson. This is technically three books, but they follow a single story arc, so deal with it. Robinson anticipates the first one hundred years of human colonization on Mars. The challenges, triumphs and tragedies are all very unexpected but remarkably prescient. This is sci-fi for people who don't like fantasy.

26. When Genius Failed - Roger Lowenstein. A riveting account of the rise and fall of Long Term Capital Management, the hedge fund which nearly brought down the entire U.S. economy (mostly in secret). Even the penurious will enjoy the thrill of experiencing what it's like to lose almost five billion dollars in three weeks.

25. Angels in America (Part 1) - Tony Kushner. Again, not sure if plays belong on this list, but The Tempest made it, so here's another. Kushner's first installment is easily the best. Some of the characters don't move me. But Roy Cohn and Belize are two of the greatest characters I've ever read.

24. Life of Pi - Yann Martel. Probably the only book that's on here purely for its entertainment value. Not really a 'great' book in the literary sense, but a fucking unbelievably fabulous book from the reading pleasure perspective. How would you survive being adrift in a lifeboat? (Oh yeah, and there's an enormous tiger on board too.)

23. American Prometheus - Kai Bird and Martin Sherwin. A very well-rounded biography of one of America's most important figures, Robert Oppenheimer. The historic insight into the Manhattan Project is interesting, but the personal insight into the man's downfall is equally engrossing.

22. Waiting - Ha Jin. Not the most artful book, but a touching little allegory about the state of modern China. It examines the perennial challenge of Chinese culture: reconciling modernity with the enormity of the country's peasant culture.

21. The LIne of Beauty - Alan Hollinghurst. This is another book that may not withstand the test of time, but it is a very beautiful read. The author portrays the headiness and shallowness of the Thatcher era in London, seen through the eyes of a young gay man caught between respectability and life.

Political scandal

2008-05-08T01:22:25Z

So, I'm just about fed up with the Democratic primaries. In protest, I am going public with some notes I found from a speech Hilary gave at the Polar Snow bleach factory in Indiana on Tuesday.

*****************

*snip*

Thank you everyone! Thank you everyone! (wait for chanting to slow)

I know this day has been a long time coming. It's been a long hard fight to get here to Indiana, but we said we wouldn't quit until everyone had their chance to vote. (wait for cheers) Now, a lot of people said we should stop before you had your chance to be heard (wait for boos), but that's not what this campaign is about! The only bitter people we know are those who thought we'd abandon our campaign (wait for laughs).

Anecdote about Bill growing up in "mobile home" here. (note: use "mobile home" not trailer.)

So, as we're gathered here in front of the Polar Snow factory I want to ask all of you to help us tell people what this campaign is all about. I know you've had hard times here as jobs have gone overseas. The bleach factory that your mothers and fathers built employs less than a quarter of the people it did twenty years ago. The very lifeblood of this town -- bleach -- has stopped flowing.

And where have your leaders been? Who in Washington understands what your town faces? Who speaks for you when NAFTA sends your jobs to Mexico?

But we aren't here today to lament the past. In fact, I want to challenge you today. I want you to join us in telling the story of this town and so many like it. We have to make Americans ask themselves "Is this the country I want for my children? Are these the values that built our country and our bleach factories, or do we need to return to the values of our parents and grandparents?"

I want each of you to challenge yourself to remember those values. I want you to ask yourself a simple question: "Are my whites as white as they could be?" "Are my whites as white as they could be?" (pause)

I remember when our country cared about whites. We kept whites and colors separate. Caring about whites wasn't a bad thing. We took pride in keeping our whites white -- free from ring around the collar, free from stains, free from all those things that threaten the purity of whites.

I want to tell you a story about my daughter, Chelsea. (wait for applause) She is everything a parent could hope for; smart, loving, patriotic. And I like to think that I taught her the values that my mother taught to me.

A while back I visited Chelsea at her home. (note: don't use 'condo' or 'apartment' - city words) Like a lot of young people, it wasn't as tidy as a mother might like (wait for laughter). But what I saw in her laundry shocked me.

There weren't two piles, but one. Whites and colors were all mixed together as if there was no difference between them. The beautiful white blouse I'd given her for Christmas was folded in with a sweatshirt from Fubu (note: mispronounce 'Fuhboo') or Rocawear or whatever it is that kids are wearing these days.

I asked my daughter how she intended to wash these things, and she said "detergent." No bleach. No bleach. (pause) Now, washing everything together wouldn't be a disaster the first time. But we all know what would happen over time. With each washing her whites would lose just a little bit of what makes them special. I realized then that I still had more to teach my daughter. So, I asked her, "Chelsea, are your whites as white as they could be?"

And that's the question I want each of you to keep in mind as you vote today. "Are my whites as white as they could be?" Because when our country stops caring about whites it stops caring about bleach. When we forget our values, we lose what has made us great. Ladies and gentlemen, it is no exaggeration to say that you've lost your jobs because our country no longer cares about whites. That's what I want you to remember when you vote today.

*snip*

***********************
(in case you missed it, this is satire)

agitadoma @ 2008-05-06T08:45:00

2008-05-06T12:50:06Z

Okay gang, time for installment two. I'm realizing now that I may have to extend beyond 30 as I start remembering books that I've forgotten. Then again, this is supposed to be "greatest books", not "great books". I will stick with 30. Without further ado, numeros 11-20.

**************************************

20. A Passage to India - E.M. Forrester. A remarkable work of post-colonial literature written before many of the implications of the colonial era were obvious. Gay folk might be more interested in reading his more interesting, but less important, Maurice. What might he have written in a time when he could be openly gay?

19. Black Swan Green - David Mitchell. I'm not really sure I can justify two spots on this list for Mitchell. He's too young to assess his place in literature. But I think all men should read this touching story of the year in the life of an adolescent boy.

18. The New Emporers: China in the Era of Mao and Deng - Harrison Salisbury. A close tie with "Mao: A Life" by Philip Short for best book about the communist era in China. Salisbury wins only be because he covers Deng too, and sets both men in the context of Chinese history. At this point in world affairs Chinese history should be taught in schools more than European history.

17. Our Guys - Bernard Lefkowitz. I consider this journalism at its finest. Lefkowitz spent an absurd amount of time getting to understand a small New Jersey suburb. His research results in a fascinating examination of how its culture fueled a shocking act: the rape of a mentally retarded girl by her high school's "leading citizens."

16. The Living and the Dead: Robert McNamara and Five Lives of a Lost War - Paul Hendrickson. I'm thinking I might need to also do a "top-five books about the Vietnam War" and this would undoubtedly go at the top. Hendrickson makes the tragedy of the war real by examining it on the personal level, starting with a gentle man who nearly murders McNamara out of rage.

14. A Winter's Tale - Mark Helprin. A very strange and enjoyable book. I'm generally not into fantasy, but Helprin weaves a tale that made me love New York and understand why it holds people in thrall.

13. The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck. This is an author who has meant less to me as I've grown older, but very much shaped my early moral development. I feel like I owe him a nod for that.

12. Disgrace - JM Coetzee. Of course he gets two slots near the top of my list. This book is a must-read for anyone who has been debilitated by shame in their life. Who hasn't?

11. The Hours - Michael Cunningham. Shit, this belongs higher. But for some reason I forget it until this point. I can't bear to displace anything higher, so here it goes.

Out of History

2008-05-05T12:10:06Z

I'm going to take a break from my books list for . . . . . another list! With a tip 'o the nib to my friend bear_left, historian extraordinaire, I bring you the 10 greatest things that homosexuals have contributed to the modern world without due recognition.

10. Judas Priest

9. Tasteful scented soaps

8. The jockstrap

7. The hot tub

6. Black fox fur trim

5. Irony

4. Brunch

3. The moustache (note LJ does not recognize this, more sophisticated, spelling)

2. Young Republicans (great as in numbers, not as in quality)

1. Sex standing up!

And, briefly, for those who might dispute the greatness of the above 10, I present another list as a cautionary tale. Here are ten things that could have been avoided if homosexuals were in charge:

10. Corduroy
9. Beer commercials
8. Potpourri
7. Great White (the band)
6. Rosie O'Donnell
5. The Falklands Islands war
4. Tube socks
3. Reagan and Stalin
2. David Copperfield (the magician)
1. Texas!

Hurray for homos!

agitadoma @ 2008-05-03T17:13:00

2008-05-03T21:28:03Z

Bidden by my friend kev_bot (who is also my role model for industrious writing), I going to try to list my 30 best books. He did 50, but I also get the sense he's a similarly industrious reader.

Someplace I have a very interesting book where modern writers list their top ten novels. I'll have to see if I can find the title. I do remember that the best represented authors were Tolstoy and Nabokov. Basically, when people think "great novel" they think of the Russians. But it really depends on what your definition of greatness is. I think my list is organized around the idea that greatness is synonymous with artistic accomplishment; aesthetic, imagination and insight. That's tempered with a heavy dose of "what changed my life."

I'm going in reverse order, because that's easier for me. So, here's 1-10:

10. The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen. I'm not confident this book will withstand the test of time, but it is fantastic for contemporary readers.

9. Personal History - Katherine Graham. I feel like an autobiography should have a high spot on this list. After all, isn't all writing autobiography in greater or lesser disguise? This is the best autobiography I know.

8. Jazz - Toni Morrison. I wrestled with this book's spot on the list. It could easily be there Cloud Atlas is, and for the very same reasons. Morrison loves her characters and that makes them real.

7. The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway. Whatever the man's faults, this is a great book. Too bad he was such a bastard.

6. The Tempest - William Shakespeare. Many of his plays deserve a spot on this list, but this one is special to me.

5. Apocalypse and the writings on Revelation - D.H. Lawrence. A non-fiction work where Lawrence's literary talents support his critique of Christianity. Sensuality's hero describes his nemesis.

4. Sacred Hunger - Barry Unsworth. This book gave me my first understanding of suffering, not because the book is insufferable but because Unsworth poignantly describes how the frustration of self will is itself suffering. Unsworth's characters do not experience suffering -- it is their state.

3. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald. Perhaps THE American novel. Gatsby was prescient about the strengths and weaknesses of our character.

2. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell. This book is simply the best example of writing craft I know. It wouldn't call it great literature, but that's missing the point. Mitchell demonstrates a command of language, setting, character and plot that should humble every modern writer.

1. "Waiting for the Barbarians" - JM Coetzee. One of my favorite writers; this is probably Coetzee's best known book, and for very good reason. The author reminds us not only of what it means to be human, but what we can do with that gift.

Clouds in my coffee

2008-05-02T12:13:13Z

For those who missed it, Carly Simon basically came out:

http://www.ebar.com/arts/art_article.php?sec=music&article=475

This is pleasing on several fronts. First, I love Carly. She's glamorous/tragic, which is my favorite combination. Second, this is just one more way that she's cooler and better than James Taylor, who is a prick. Let the river run girl!

agitadoma @ 2008-05-01T22:03:00

2008-05-02T02:05:11Z

Just in case you were wondering. This is the hat I was wearing that prompted frat boy to ask to take his picture with me. Fuck him -- I looked fabulous.

Revenge Fantasy

2008-04-29T13:00:49Z

As some of you may know, one of my current interests is fantasies of violence. Fittingly, I thought I would share one of my own.

During my recent trip to SF I enjoyed a lovely Sunday brunch with my friend John in the Castro. It was at a raucous place that employs a live dj and serves bottomless mimosas. And, like much of the Castro these days, the crowd is predominantly young straight people.

As we were leaving a group of liquored up young people had gathered on the curb. I was looking particularly striking, wearing my large Sunday bonnet and my flower-rimmed sunglasses, and I caught the eye of the class-clown in the group. He comes staggering over and asks to take his picture with me.

Everything about him reads jackass frat boy. He's maybe 24, fit, white, and rolling drunk. He starts by pointing out his girlfriend to me (translation: I'm not hitting on you) and then slurs out "lemme takmi pigure withyu." His less-drunk friends realize he's crossed a line and don't produce a camera. I'm so shocked I can't do anything but stare at him; my withering look unfortunately obscured by the shades. Only later do I realize what has transpired: He had an adventure to gay disney, and he wanted a souvenir photo of himself with Ariel. Fuck that.

Now I'm consumed with revenge fantasies. Had I been less stunned, more brave, what would I have done? Here's the best I've worked out so far:

I immediately play along, teasing him and flirting like the pointless queen he expects. I tell his friends to get out their cameras because they don't want to miss this. I pose us facing one another, ostensibly so I can pretend to be hanging all over him. Really, I want is to position him with his legs slightly spread and close enough to me so that when I knee him in the groin he doesn't have any time to react.

Then I spring into action. First I deliver crushing blow to his testicles with my left knee. He was short, so I could catch him in the most powerful part of the upswing and probably drop him with that alone. I'm hoping he doesn't go all the way to the ground though because I have more to deliver. As he's doubled over in pain I grab him around the ears and tell his friends " Back off or I'll break his fucking nose." (Which I could accomplish with another knees to the face. It's a legitimate threat.)

As they stand back, stunned, I lean over and whisper into his ear: "Make sure you tell them a faggot kicked your ass." Then I drop an elbow into his back, right around the left kidney. That should drop him to one knee. The coup de grace is a kick to the diaphragm, which should leave him breathless and whimpering on the sidewalk. I put my foot on his neck and then ask his friends "Can someone take our picture?"

Brilliant, isn't it!

Thought 'o the day

2008-04-28T13:10:34Z

"The dignity of the gods is to smile; the dignity of humans is to weep."

-- Martha Nussbaum's explication of tragedy, in her preface to CK Williams' translation of The Bacchae of Euripides.

agitadoma @ 2008-04-28T09:05:00

2008-04-28T13:06:49Z

So, I doubt I know many more people than my friend strblsslk, but I'm going to do my damndest to spread this video that he posted because it is friggin' hysterical. Enjoy.

A little lyric

2008-04-27T04:09:53Z

I've been working for a while on a writing project. It's a play written in verse, primarily iambic pentameter. The plot is too complex to explain at this hour, but it revolves around a family as they experience the birth of a child and the death of a parent. Anyhow, I felt like sharing a passage. This is spoken by an elderly woman, who is enraged by her daughter's refusal to fulfill her wishes.

********************************************

A fool’s bargain it is to bear a child.

In birth your death begins. Breasts sag, hips splay.
Your flesh begins its slow descent to earth.
Beauty is suicidal. Inviting
the seed of its own demise.

One cell takes root; a grain of sand your shell
let pass must now be spun into a pearl.
As host you give all that its life requires;
blood, breath, food and warmth.

Even Adam yielded only one rib
to make two where once there was just one.

The child will take as much as you give.
It’s born knowing how cries and smiles wring you.
The rest it learns; a siren’s symphony
of calls to enchant, use up and then unbind
your ambition and dreams.

Its life grows rich as yours is hollowed out.

agitadoma @ 2008-04-22T08:23:00

2008-04-22T12:24:13Z

I am tickling your balls with my mind.

Music makes me lose control

2008-04-02T12:03:07Z

Okay, so I spent part of my vacation in Puerto Rico (see the pictures) reading The Bacchae of Dionysus, by Euripedes, translated by CK Williams. (My spelling is probably off there.) For those not familiar, it's this very odd play about a group of women who, under the influence of the god Dionysus, go on a holy terror in the mountains of Greece. Mostly they dance and drink, but when they encounter the son of one woman they tear him limb from limb and eat his raw flesh. Again, under the influence of Dionysus who is pissed that the son doubts his divinity.

As you can imagine, the story offers conflicting views on whether it is good to let your hair down and party.

For the time being, I am choosing to focus on the goodness of those moments when we lose ourselves to the intoxicating pleasures (real and metaphorical) that life can provide. In that spirit, I invite my fellow LJ peeps to share the story of their most Bacchanal moment. Not necessarily the craziest, hardest partying you've ever done -- but the time you most let go of the bonds of your life. Here's me:

When I was a junior in college I lived in a cooperative named The Enchanted Broccoli Forest. Once a year we hosted a rave (they still had those then), which primarily consisted of one house member traveling to SF to purchase an enormous amount of drugs and then hiring a DJ to play all night. Anyhow, we started around 9:00 p.m. and I took a tab of x, cut with a healthy dose of speed. Then I went up to my room and put on my party dress, which consisted of cut off jean shorts, a tank top, and some bitchin' roller skates (electric blue addidas with bright yellow wheels). About thirty minutes later I had the most amazing realization -- in the back seat of my car I had four canisters of neon-colored Playdoh. (I can't recall why.) I lit out across our backyard and down the path to our parking area. It was brief, but I just remember the incredible expansive feeling of all my synapses firing, me rolling under the warm, starry sky and the child-like joy of my pursuit. I had Playdoh!

I'm in Puerto Rico bitches

2008-03-31T16:38:04Z

A minor distraction

2008-03-27T01:23:42Z

If homosexuality had a smell, what would it be?

A must read

2008-03-20T11:38:41Z

With compliments to my friend strbksslk . . .

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html

Goats roaming the streets

2008-03-19T00:49:17Z

BTW: If you doubt that our country is headed into a protracted period of economic misery, I highly encourage you to read the following editorial by George Soros (genius) in the FT:

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/24f73610-c91e-11dc-9807-000077b07658.html

Long story short, if you keep exporting cash at some point people are going to get tired of importing it. You're welcome China and India! Enjoy our century!